Yesterday I wrote that my week will be even better and I am making it true. Despite I had morning shift and was getting up really early, I was able to manage it somehow. Moreover, I have some stomach problems, but it has not prevent me from having a really good day. After my shift I went for a long walk back home. I was looking for some charity shops in this part of London. I have just found one, but it was charity bookstore, what made me really happy. I have found there some interesting books, but I was not able to buy them yet. I have also find some bakery and have bought proper bread, not that spongy British toast bread, which I am eating with a regret. The sun was shining all the time, so I had really nice discovering of different parts of London. When I got back home, I was really tired, but then I have found a cassette in my mail box and I got excited a lot. It is tape with all Coma Cinema’s music made from 2005 to 2011. I am so happy to have it, because Mat (Coma Cinema) is my favorite musician: http://comacinema.bandcamp.com/ The package was really nice done by Warren from Orchid Tapes, one of my favorites labels in whole world. http://orchidtapes.com/ After taking picture of this tape I went to a bed and slept until late evening. Then I have paid my rent and finally published my mixtape I was having prepared for such a long time: http://starttracker.bandcamp.com/album/gonna-die-young All songs are my favorites from autumn/winter 2012 and they reflect my mood and feelings in that time. I was depressed, lonely, but it has passed and I feel great right now. I am so happy to put it out for others to listen. Bands featured in the compilation are the best ones from States and you should check them all. Today was full of joy and I am so happy about that, because I can forget about all my worries. I will try to make the rest of this week as good as past days.
Today was my first day, when I had woken up before the alarm clock. I was so surprised when I checked my clock and I had realized that I am up earlier. So I got up from bed and did some translating of a manual for my father. Afterwards I went to Starbucks for my four-hour shift. I was in good mood, because sun was shining and it always make much happier. I have also realized that my co-worker is leaving town soon, so I will hopefully get more hours, but I have to check it out at my boss to be sure. If I will get more hours, I will be able to live better life here, because I need to earn more to cover all my costs, especially the whole food. I will try to get more info and I will let you know how things will turn out. In the evening I went to visit my friend Lea, which made great chicken soup and had some risotto with sea food (!) and I managed to eat it. I have never done it before and it did not tasted as bad as I was expecting. I really enjoyed it though. Moreover as bonus I got my favorite snack from Slovakia called “Horalka” as a desert. It is the source of my smile at the photo featured in this entry. We talked a lot about our own stuff and I have realized we have a lot views about London and British people in common. She is having great week since she is going to see tomorrow Mumford & Sons (not my favorites though) and later on Saturday Sigur Rós. I am not theirs fan too, but I would like to see them, if I had chance to be at their show. Although I will be seeing Clinic on Thursday this thursday, what is the event of this year for me (so far), because I wanted to see them for a really really long time. I feel great writing this entry, because I had really good evening and great chat with Lea and also because I have things to look forward to. This week has started pretty good and I will make rest of it even better.
This photo is family log cabin built in 1953 outside Little Fort, British Columbia posted on my favorite tumblr blog: http://freecabinporn.com/ When I am seeing all beautiful cabins posted there, I am wanting to move into one and live away from whole busy world. When I am imagining how my future house will look like, I have always in my mind these cabins. I want my house to be made of wood and glass and I want it to be placed near forest or lake (or both). But it will be a long time, before my little dream will come true. I have to firstly survive my staying in London, get more experience and move to another level. My weekend was totally lazy one and I spent whole time in bed or reading book (this is the better option). I do not like this way of living, but I was kind of tired whole day. I have made proper food today, but it still did not give me enough energy to be able to do something special. I am going to sleep at normal time, so I hope next week will start better. I have to again make my life more interesting, because I will fall into stereotype, which I am not liking at all.
Today I was thinking a lot about my home, so I have chosen my favorite photo from our garden, it’s our old cherry tree. Today my father had an injury as he fell of the ladder and he will have tomorrow operation of his broken knee. It made me worry about him a lot and I hope everything will be alright. I wish I could see him and help him at least a little bit. I was also thinking about returning home after some time and I have realized my family will be always important for me. My brothers and sister, my parents. I can imagine living without seeing them for short time, but not not for whole life. I was planning to see them during Eastern holidays, but lot of coworkers are having holidays, so I will be probably not allowed to take days off. Even the flight ticket is so expensive for me and I cannot afford it right now. Probably I will find way how to see them at some point, I hope it will be sooner than in summer. Later in the evening I was skypeing with my friend Martin and we were talking about our week and other stuff. We are both in same situation, because our salaries are not so high, so we have to look carefully how we are spending our money. I do not want to live such life any longer, but I hope it will change soon. Maybe I will be forced to change my job, if it is not getting better.
Yesterday I was writing that today will be ordinary day too. Not at all. I have thought a lot about all my stuff and staying here. I also spoke to my colleagues in Starbucks, who were saying me that they are totally bored of London. I have heard this from different people and I was not believing first time, but I am starting to understand that. It is not about where you are, but how you spend the time and with whom. Friends are more important part of life and satisfaction then one of the best cities in the world. I can live here decent life, but without friends I will get bored soon. And I know I will always have good friends back home. At least my great siblings. I am starting to feel signs of stereotype in my life and I want to change it. However I do not have any bike to explore different parts of city and I cannot afford to pay tubes or buses. I am afraid that it will stay this way for longer time, since my salary is not able to cover all my costs here. Living is too much expensive even without spending any extra money. But I hope I will survive first few months, which are the worst ones. Today I had really long day, since I had ten hours shift and I was getting up pretty early. I am totally exhausted, but music is enabling me to relax and to get more energy. I have add to this post my sister’s current profile photo. She is becoming really pretty girl and I am so proud of her. Moreover her awesome blog (http://teenagevillageunderground.tumblr.com/) I was posting here lately is still gaining more and more followers. I am so glad she is my sister and I miss her so much. I hope I will see her soon and probably she will be able to visit me here. I was planning to write in this entry some other things, but I like it this way much better. I like the way how can I find on each day something worth mentioning in my diary. The habit of writing a diary is helping me to reveal more about my days and get deeper into my thoughts and experience. You should try to do it too. It can be keep just your personal diary, not like mine one.
When I was thinking what to write to my diary, I have realized my day was really ordinary. I was doing nothing special beside my shift, which went pretty well. I am still liking my job and I am kind of satisfied with it for now. Today I have started reading book Sanine by Russian writer Mikhail Artsybashev. I have read just few chapters, but I am getting into this book. It’s the second Russian author I am reading this year and will probably continue with another one. This book is also part of our virtual “reading club”, in which I and my friends are reading the same books. We have already read Fathers and Sons by Ivan Turgenev and I really enjoyed reading that book, which is known for kind of first mentioning of word nihilism. The philosophy of nihilism is worth studying for me, since some of nihilistic philosophers had interesting ideas. Today I have also realized how much I miss reading books, because I was not reading a lot (just one book and few chapters from another book) since I have moved to London. I will try to utilize the time spent in buses and read each day a little bit. Tomorrow I have really long shift, so I am expecting that my day will be similar to this one. I will probably not experience something unusual, but I would love to be surprised. For today entry I have chosen my favorite lomo photo made in our highest mountains Tatry. I love them so much and I have not been hiking for a long time. I have really great memories connected to time spent in these mountains. I miss it so much, but here are no opportunities for hiking though. I just have to wait, when I get back home (if I ever get).
Just one picture. It’s a cover art of next 40 songs from my favorite tumblr blog 420 love songs: http://420lovesongs.tumblr.com/ There are featured many great bands/musicians, who are my favorites and am I so happy that they are contributing to this project. I started following it from the start and I will do that as long as the project will be alive. Here is the whole album: http://obama.bandcamp.com/ I have realized that my days are just about music. Nothing more, but it makes them so special. When I am listening to some song I really like, I close my eyes and try to feel the music. I am doing this often on concert. It has to look really silly, but I can enjoy the show that way more. It is not about seeing, but hearing. I am listening to songs from this new compilation right now and I tend to close my eyes too. Of course there is no way to write that way. I am little bit tired these days despite fact that I am eating properly (finally!) eating and trying to have more energy. One good thing about being in London for me is learning how to leave alone and not be depressed of that. I am not hanging around with anyone, but I do not miss it at all. Even I am not writing with friends on internet so much. I have learned how to enjoy days without depending on someone else. Maybe it will change later, maybe I will be able to live this way for longer time. It is a really big change for me though and some people might get disappointed, because I am not talking (writing) to them so much, but it is the way how my life is going now. My life always was and will be constant change.
I am writing this post totally exhausted and my mind is not working at all. Today we had training at Starbucks company about its history, our mission and other things related to our job. It was kind of boring and too long. Also I was tired from long travel since the company was on the other side of London. Thus my entry will be really short. Yesterday I have bought Teen Suicide package from Songs From The Road Records: purple tape “DC snuff film”, grey mixed vinyl “I Will Be My Own Hell Because There Is A Devil Inside My Body” and black 7” “Goblin Problems”. I had a lot of problems doing that. Firstly I ordered just a tape and then I have decided to buy other stuff. However I have ordered black vinyl instead of grey, so Jesse from the label had fun fulfilling my wishes. He is great guy!. My sister’s blog has reached the limit of 1000 followers so I have made her a picture fir this purpose. Here is her blog, if you do not know it yet: http://teenagevillageunderground.tumblr.com/ Finally I am eating more properly, but I have to change my sleeping habits as well. It is the reason why I am so tired. Moreover I have tomorrow morning shift so I have to go to bed earlier. Today I have realized I have almost nothing common with people working for Starbucks. At least the ones who I have met so far, but it is not problem for me at all. I just want to do my job and earn some money. I am not wanting to make new friends at Starbucks.
No new photos. Just memories and my old photos taken with M. I have really nice memories connected to these photos. Sometimes I miss it all so much. Today I was thinking about my life here and how it has changed and how I have changed. I had thought that moving to Aberdeen was the biggest change, but it was the moment when I left school. I knew there is no way back anymore for me. The largest change came when I returned back home for Christmas and then moved to London. I have started to learn how to live on my own, the hardest thing from all. I like it, I am free and I am learning from my own mistakes. The failure is a good way how to improve some aspects of your life. When I left home I stopped doing some things and practically cut almost every connection to my home country. There is just my family, which I miss so much and few my close friends, but I am not missing anything else. Just one thing left and it is music. It has been a significant part of my life for a long time since I have started discovering new music when I was 14. I am more confident that I want to stick with music as much as I can. I started playing guitar more, I am spending more time doing my blog and writing with all my “music” friends from US. I want to start a tape label at some point, but firstly I have to do some preparation. My life here is different from the one back home, but I liked it. I like writing my poems, but I have decided not to release them anymore. I feel I am speaking too much in online world, so I want to shut down some things. I will keep all my poems in one diary. Today I was also thinking about option of staying abroad for more than few months. I was always thinking about going home after some time spent abroad, but I am less sure about that. The idea of living in other country is becoming more present and maybe it will win when I will decide what to do next. I do not know what will happen in future, but there is not just one option for anymore. I have accidentialy erased this entry three times!!! and each version was slightly different. This is just part of my thoughts which have popped up in mind roday. Probably I will share more later, after I will get them organized a little bit. F.
Today have not happened anything special, since I spent half of day in bed. Then I went finally shopping and have bought food at least for two weeks. It is better feeling when you look into fridge and there is some food. As dinner I have prepared pasta I have got yesterday from guy who was selling me the tape player. It tasted really good and moreover I mixed them with a lot of vegetables. I know that pasta food is not a win, but at least I have some food to prepare. Next time I wanna make potatoes roasted with ham and cheese. Later I was skypeing with my brother (he is the guy on the photo) and we were talking about book market and his shop. It is going pretty good and each day he is having some customers. I am about to make for him e-shop and I started working on it today, but it is pretty hard and I have to learn lot of stuff before it will work properly. I hope I will be able to finish it really soon and my brother will be able to use it for selling books. I have though about Perks of Being Wallflower and I have realized that I am kind of really lonely. But I know it will not change soon, since I am not looking here for a girlfriend. I cannot promise anybody I will be with him. I want to travel and move to USA this year. The loneliness is cost of having such life and it strikes me so heavily when watching that film. It has just revealed the truth I am hiding from myself. I need someone, despite I am pretending that I do not need. But I have to wait.
Saturday. My usual day for resting and this day was not different. Though I have collected my new cassette player with record option too, so I will try to do some tapes soon. I bought it really cheaply (2€) from some Italian guy who is starting company selling home-made pasta. He gives me one to taste it, so my purchase had some bonus. He had nice flat and beautiful cat, but I totally forgot to take picture of her. I was asking him whether there are some problems, if you want to have cat, but he said me that only thing you need is approval from landlord. I will have own cat at some point, but firstly I want to settle up a little bit. I do not want to torture my cat with travelling. Today was also first book market in Bratislava this year, which was organized by my brother. When I was in Aberdeen I was missing the organization of book markets pretty much, but here I do not miss it at all. Although it was great experience for me and maybe I will continue with it in my future, but now I am here and want to have life less depending on my home country. My brother wrote me that the book market went well despite a lot of snow and he earned some money by selling books (some were mine). In the evening I have watched film Perks of Being a Wallflower. Yesterday my friend Martin was telling me about it that it is a great film. He was right. After I have seen it, I was speechless. Literally. I was trying to put some words to describe it for my friend, because he was asking me whether I liked it. Still I cannot find words to express what I think about that film, but I just love it. They are few films, which I like so much as this one. For example Moonrise Kingdom, Where The Wild Things Are and some others. I will watch the film again tomorrow and I am planning to buy book on which it was based at some point. It’s been few hours since the film has ended, but I am still not able to say anything about it. Maybe tomorrow. And finally here is a song featured in this film called “Heroes” by David Bowie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tgcc5V9Hu3g
Tapes. My whole day was revolving around Bird Tapes’ 4 releases planned for this day. I was waiting just to be online at right time to be able to buy them, because I knew they will be gone really soon. And I was right. It did not last more then 40 minutes to sold out all tapes by Julia Brown and Teen Suicide. You can find all tapes on label’s bandcamp: http://birdtapes.bandcamp.com I have bought whole 4-combo package. The first tape is a new album “to be close to you” by brand new band Julia Brown from Maryland: http://cool.bandcamp.com/. Two members (Sam, Alec) are from dead band Teen Suicide, which has released also their demos on tape (the second tape). The third tape is by my favorites Pill Friends from Philadelphia. I was premiering one song from this EP on my soundcloud. The last tape is band High Pop I was sharing on my blog a while ago. I like their noisy, garage tunes and it will fit to my new collection of tapes. I am so happy that I have not missed the tapes and was able to order them. I will post photo of them, when they will arrive. I am so excited to lay them in my new tape player which I am collecting tomorrow. Today I was having shift in different Starbucks on Byward Street. I like people there and working with them is fun. Moreover I got more hours since I was sent to close another Starbucks in different area. So I was working in third Starbucks store since my start in Starbucks.Back homeI was skypeing with my friend Martin for more than three hours. We always talk about our plans, mainly about our future jobs. I have no idea what it will be, but I want to be involved with music. Maybe I will have some club or something like that. But my dream is to run a tape label, but I will be not able to earn money for living doing that. Though it is not a reason to stop working on my future label. I do not know how my future will look like, but I will do my best to fulfill my dreams.
I am writing this post feeling terrible, because I had a huge dinner at my friend’s house and I overate myself. Eating each day a little and then having large dinner is the worst idea ever, but it tasted so good. We had real burgers with other great dishes and awesome cupcakes and apple pie. I was not able to resist it and stop eating, so I am now paying for my gluttony. This day at Starbucks was really weird, since I was not able to focus on my shift. My mind was in different places thinking about music and other things, which are making my life so beautiful right now. For example all my friends from US, who I have never met (not yet), are such great folks and so kind to me and I just love them all. When I feel down, they always cheer me up through kind words or their beautiful music. Even whole Start-track.com is reason, why I am having great time past weeks. All my work is turning really well and I am reaching more people. I have sent my recordings to some folks in US and they liked it. I have to work on it and maybe I will finally write lyrics for my songs and I will try to record it and maybe release it. It is my dream for a long time, but I was not giving as much energy as it needs, so it is time to try to work harder on it. I enjoy playing guitar so much, but I always reach some point, when I realize that my technique is really weak and I need to improve it a lot. But I have plenty of time for it in London, because I have a lot of gaps between my shifts at Starbucks. Tomorrow I will get the first salary, so I will be able to buy more food and finally try to live healthier life. Some of my friends are trying to eat according paleo and I will try to adapt some habits too. Moreover I want to try to do some good soups, but firstly I need to make list of things I need to buy. Another reason why I am happy right now is my last purchase. I have bought old tape player (recorder) through ebay and I will collect it on Saturday. I will buy some tapes and try to record something on them. If it is working, I am starting cassette label from here. It was my little plan, but I was not sure, whether it will work. But last days proved me that it is the exact thing I want to do right now. Maybe I will release my mixtapes, if there will be any people wanting to buy it on a tape. I will probably record each one after someone order one, not in advance. It will be more authentic and personal. I want to make each tape somehow special to give it higher value. I love tapes and their noisy/busy sound and having tape label is my dream for past year. I will keep you updated with all things and I hope I will be able to sell you my tapes very soon.
It was the last day of Matt’s visit in London, so we were hanging out together with Lea after my morning shift in Starbucks. Today it was freezing outside and the weather will be this way whole week. We were walking through China Town and then having sort of lunch in National Gallery. Later we were meeting another Matt and Lea’s friend Richard who came to London for an interview for Californian university in Berkeley. However I was so tired so I left them to go home and have some sleep, since I woke up at 4:30 for my work. I was writing poems in bus again and somehow morning is a good time for me to do something creative. Unfortunately I am still striving to write poems/lyrics in English mainly because of my horrible vocab. After I woke up in the late night I have scheduled post on my start-track.com for tomorrow and I had chat with Rachel Levy, a great musician from LA. Here is her new album, which I was listening whole day: http://rlkelly.bandcamp.com/album/lifes-a-bummer-2 She was also working together with my favorite musician Mat Cothren on new album of his project Coma Cinema, which I totally love. I am looking forward to hear it. Rachel told me it will be amazing and that collab with Mat was hear dream. She is also offered my couch in LA, if I will be planning go there. We agreed that we will try to meet in Philly this year, where I want to desperately go after some time spending here in London. Going to USA is my ultimate goal of this year and I want to make it happen, so I have to save some money for that. Sometimes I feel like moving to USA for good to live there, maybe in Philadelphia and be more involved with the whole music scene, but I still like my home country. I will see how things will turn out, but this year I will spend outside Slovakia and I happy to be away.
Today I have taken no photos, so I choose instead of them few album art s(song art) by my favorite musicians. First one is from album “stumble pretty” by Infinity Crush (Caroline White from dead band Teen Suicide): http://infinitycrush.bandcamp.com/album/stumble-pretty. I really like her songs and I am listening to them everyday. Caroline is the best girl and musician I have ever met through internet and I always enjoy to chat with her. I wish I will meet her one day and will be hanging around with her in some cool place in Maryland. The second picture is cover art from upcoming album by Julia Brown: http://juliabrown09.tumblr.com/ It is brand new band with ex-members of Teen Suicide Sam Ray and Alec Simke and new member John Toohey. I had chance to listen to new album before it is released and I love it. They are already my favorite band of this year as Teen Suicide was my the most favorite band of 2012. The last picture is art for one of Julia Brown’s song and it will be released in zine coming together with the new album. These guys are influencing me a lot together with Ryan Wilson from Pill Friends or Mat Cothran from Coma Cinema/Elvis Depressedly or Spencer Radcliffe from Blithe Field. There are many other musicians and people who are so important for me even if I had no chance to meet them face to face. All these people are happy that I am doing my blog and I feel that I am doing the right thing. One day I will make festival in Slovakia and call all my music friends and it will be the best festival ever. But it will be not soon, so I have to go to USA to see them live. Maybe this summer I will travel there and spend there some time meeting all people I wish to see playing or just shake hands with them. My day at Starbucks is not worth mentioning, it was just crazy. In the evening I was skypeing with my brother, who told me that his shop is going pretty well and he had 16 customers today and made some money. I miss him a lot as well as my other siblings, especially my younger sister who is the best girl in the world. She is doing this great tumblr blog: http://teenagevillageunderground.tumblr.com/ I envy her a little bit because she is growing in different (kind of better) environment than I was, but I am not regretting who I become. Firstly I wanted to write this blog for others, but I have realized I am doing it for myself. I like doing a diary and trying to summarize my days. It is a good way how to clear your head and evaluate how I was spending my day.